Sheetal :)

  “Watson. Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come all the same.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle.                                          I have passed through my entire life feeling as if it were an apology. As if I was an apology. A means to rectify and justify a series of mishaps. A vehicle to compensate for the what if’s. Someone to live through and not live as. And boy did I. But that’s a thought for another time. After having lived as such and for someone else, I very recently came to start wanting to live for myself. Selfishly. Unapologetically. Unconfined to someone else’s existence. And so I did.      Every time I make these decisions to do as I want, I feel like I jump off another plane - blind and without a parachute to ensure safe landings. My journey into another realm of self-discovery always seems to beg...

" We were together. I forget the rest" - Walt Whitman. I never thought that the concept of human beings would become a facet of my life that I would ever come to care for. Ever since I was little, people were not a stagnant concept and they never existed in my life in a capacity where they had an impact on it in a positive sense. Beginning with a birth giver and onward to more impactful chosen relationships like that of friends and acquaintances, I had gotten used to the idea that it most likely would not work out and so people were not something that I let myself consider a commodity. 2020 and quarantine for me personally, and I’m sure it holds true for a lot of other people as well was extraordinarily life-altering. Because it was such a globally shared phenomenon, it forced me to be stuck with myself and this change then caused a spiral of self-observation and reflection which in turn accelerated personal growth. The concept that all humans need human interaction to surviv...

For whenever you’re willing to take a stand There comes an entourage questioning your sanity and not the man It’s okay they say  Take what comes your way Fight what it is you want said At the end of the day, you have to find your place on someone else’s bed. Dignity is such a big deal  And yet Is anyone ever asking this girl how she feels? She throws around the fact that she wishes she was dead So easily, but why is it her who has to have suffered, it really should be this man's head. Settle down, relax, it will all fade away No, it won’t, I still feel his hand on my waist. I feel his hands all over me and all I want to do is peel every inch of my skin off, I can’t have anyone near me without wanting to scream get it off! Get it off! Why is it nobody is willing to listen to every word I have been screaming out loud?! You have me questioning if it is me, have I willingly attracted the wrong crowd? Why did you let me grow up this way, with nothing to be said and nowhere to say i...