CHANGE.

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"Change is hard at first, Messy in the middle and Gorgeous at the end."

Change is one of those things no one looks forward to. Mostly because it reminds us that life is not as stagnant as we believe it to be and is a phenomenon we blissfully ignore. Until there actually comes a time where it can't be ignored anymore. It can mean a change in lifestyle, a big move, erasing a few things or people,or even making the tiniest changes. For me, it was moving continents away from home. Alone. In any sense, we do not enjoy it. We are told that it is so we can move forward towards the bigger picture. That is a load of crap it seems. Cause, let's be honest. The bigger picture is a million light years away and does not seem at all attractive at the time. Because it means coming out of that cocoon of warmth that we have been wrapped up in our whole lives and breathing in that cold air. That cold, hit you in the face with a ton of bricks air. It means taking a step into the unknown. It sounds like the worst kind of horror movie at the moment to be honest. And for a while it is.

In the beginning, you try to hold on to as much as the comfort of the past as you possibly could. You keep in touch with as many people as you can, you try and balance the past with the present as much as you can, in hopes of carrying both of them into the future with as little casualties. But then again, life is the biggest PSYCH! ever. You slowly realize that this whole multi-tasking thing that you've been trying can't work. Cause the past holds you down and you're so stuck in it that it doesn't really let you get on with the present and you realize you're actually doing so much that you're doing nothing. So, little by little you start letting go of the past and concentrating on the present. This doesn't mean you completely leave everyone and everything behind and not associate with them. Just means, you remind yourself every now and often that they exist and love them from afar. Talk to them from time to time. But also, move on to the present so you can build towards your future.

So, you start to accept and embrace it. You accept that it happened, you embrace the thought of it and finally learn to enjoy it. Cause really, this big change as I came to realize was the biggest opportunity I ever got. The independence that came with it was amazing. That feeling of ownership where I now had control over my own life, where I was completely in charge of it, where I was making all of my decisions for myself was honestly  the most empowered I have ever felt. I am a better person now because of a decision I made a year ago, a decision to leave everything behind and change quite literally everything in my life. Including myself.  The bigger picture is now clearer, closer and more beautiful than it seemed a year ago. And boy, am I glad I got over that initial shock and moments of weakness where everything felt impossible.

That's all for today lovelies.
As usual, Stay Strong <3

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