GROWING UP.

"One day you will grow up enough to start reading fairy tales again."
   
All our lives, we wait in anticipation to grow up. But after much thought, you always go back to "I wish i could go back to being that child". Basically wish for the whole process to slow down.

As a little girl, I always dreamt of everything magical. Dreamt of forever. Dreamt of everything being just as peachy as ever. That was a long time ago. I don't know that girl anymore. Innocence and delusion were slapped away by reality. Ah, the wonders of reality. It is a slap of cold water on the face on a beautiful summer day, reminding us of the fact that anything and everything beautiful almost never lasts. Some may call this pessimism. To them I shall say, grow up. Life always has a harsh set of cards to deal you with.

I still remember how as a 5 year old, I couldn't wait to be a grown up like my mother was and so , I would dress in her clothes that were way too big on me but made me feel like an adult. And who could forget the high heels I wore to make myself feel important. I still remember how until the 5th grade I was not allowed to cross the road on my own because I was still a "little kid". I couldn't wait to be a grown up or a teenager because that I thought meant making my own decisions. Now, I can't help but think how nice it would be sometimes, to just go back and actually have a set of rules keeping you still.

Now , I'm a teenager and sometimes, just sometimes, I can't help but mock my little self.  I can't help but wish I could tell her she was going to regret wanting to grow up so soon.

Isn't it wondrous on how much you can grow in a very little span of time and not realize it for a very long time? You learn something life-changing every day and so you grow a little as a person every day. Of course like everything , growing up has its good , bad and ugly side. Because..doesn't everything?

The good : Obviously being the part of your maturing and coming into your own. Becoming finally, after a tenuous journey , your own person. Finally coming out of your shell. Not hiding from anything or anyone. You finally become what you were cut out to be.

The bad : You lose a little bit of yourself in the process. You lose out on your innocence. You lose your grip on all of your fabricated thoughts. A little bit of happy dies inside of you.

The ugly : The void that is left behind in that process is what hurts the most. You sometimes just do not know what to do with yourself. Reality is all you can see and sometimes it can be a harsh companion. You are sometimes left to deal with yourself and a lot of your dark thoughts like loneliness, not knowing what to do with yourself.

But sometimes, it is what it is. And there's nothing we can do but deal with it.

Also, I realized that the one thing I wanted as a child and thought would never come about, came way too fast. So, for what it is worth, here's to growing up.

That's all for today lovelies.
Stay strong.❤
Much love. Xx.
Bye!😁