Sheetal :)

I wish I could say I want to go back to being the crazy, stupid , gullible girl that I was a year ago. But I can't. Life works that way. It happens to you when you least expect it. It can be everyone you loved just shoving you away like you never mattered. It can be yourself , just taking the road to destroying the old you to build a new person you hardly recognize. It can be your dad who was supposed to be there forever , who was once a part of your everyday now ceasing to become an email wishing you a happy birthday. It can be you crying yourself to sleep every night for six months because you are in a place where you have no one and its slowly driving you to insanity. It can be you relapsing, going back to everything you did to yourself three years ago. It can be anything. But you won't want to go back to being who you were. Because you survived through all that dark and maybe just maybe lived just enough to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That's life ...

"One day you will grow up enough to start reading fairy tales again."     All our lives, we wait in anticipation to grow up. But after much thought, you always go back to "I wish i could go back to being that child". Basically wish for the whole process to slow down. As a little girl, I always dreamt of everything magical. Dreamt of forever. Dreamt of everything being just as peachy as ever. That was a long time ago. I don't know that girl anymore. Innocence and delusion were slapped away by reality. Ah, the wonders of reality. It is a slap of cold water on the face on a beautiful summer day, reminding us of the fact that anything and everything beautiful almost never lasts. Some may call this pessimism. To them I shall say, grow up. Life always has a harsh set of cards to deal you with. I still remember how as a 5 year old, I couldn't wait to be a grown up like my mother was and so , I would dress in her clothes that were way too big on me but made me f...

"Every storm comes to an end to give rise to the beautiful skies again." I just made that up but knowing the internet someone has already said it xD After a rough set of weeks I feel myself again. So hello lovely people. And excuse me for the previous internal monologue. Conflicted as I was I needed to get it out of my system. And make peace with myself. So I did. And I feel much better. So, I guess what I'm trying to say (trying being the key word) is that when you feel depressed and you just don't want to talk about it , talk to yourself. As creepy as that sounds. Make peace with yourself. Because in the end , your only best friend is yourself. You'll see as time goes. So love yourself first and then become friends with yourself. Only then everything else in your life , all the conflicts and emotions , become stabilized. You become calmer ( not really). What I mean to say probably is you become you. You see exactly what is happening with you. You see the kind...

Hi. Today is just going to be personal. Lately life or social life in particular has become a little hard and a lot to handle. Too many hassles and situations are just putting me down and nothing seems to be helping. It feels like everything is coming down upon me hard and I'm beginning to pick up from the negative things a lot. I am starting to focus on what people are saying , thinking more than usual. And beginning to doubt myself as a person on the whole. I know how these things go down. Been there. And I'm determined not to go there again so I'm trying to bring back some balance again.  So basically , almost everything I had until now believed to be real turned out to not be.. well ..that. Thinking back now it seems like a distant daydream. It was an unpleasant shock but a harsh welcome to reality. These past days have tested my insecure personality in almost every way possible. And made me second guess myself. I am always thinking about relapse. Like it can make me ...

" I think too hard and over analyze everything and as a result create these problems in my head that don't even exist. " Said a teenager on Tumblr who has got their life all figured out. This blog update was requested by someone. Yes. I was pretty surprised too. People read this.WHAT! So anyway, I want to go right into PMS mode and rant about how everything is non-complicated and how we as teenagers strive towards making it as complicated as it is humanly possible. We strive so greatly towards complicating the simple things that there begins a constant war between the remembering and the forgetting. Sometimes, it just becomes so that the complicated mess that we have created starts to become a normalcy in our lives and the simple stuff seems so alien. Familiar? Well I am too. I mean i just complicate the simple stuff but I'm sure there are other bigger complications. So..the question here is..why complicate things? I'm going to say three possibilities because...

Long gone are the days where people used to look at inner beauty. Inner beauty today is a myth, a topic that is often ridiculed. As of today, when people look at someone, what they seek is perfection. We would be lying to ourselves and everyone else if we said otherwise.  Every girl seeks the perfect guy and every guy seeks to find his Ms.Right. Taking into account that everybody's sense of perfect is seemingly different. There still exist those rare people  who see past everything and look into the person inside. But most people just look for a thing of beauty not a person of beauty. There seems to be an alarming increase in people wanting other people to act or be or look a certain way. Why? I don't know. It is pretty ridiculous if you ask me but it is what it is. I had a friend , sorry , now acquaintance tell me once not long ago, " It's not that i don't like people. Its just that i expect people to be a certain way. You know my idea of perfection?". An...

Life's like a box of chocolates , ya never know what you're gonna get. Forrest Gump's mama wins at life. :') Also , this is a 12 AM thing where I'm thinking very deeply about life and the cards it deals us , because that's what happens at 12 AM. Deep thinking. Anyway , here I am thinking about some things that never come into mind anytime of the day except now and one of the most sensible thought that came into my head at this moment is "Hell! I should share this Ish." So here I am , like it or not , doing exactly that. Anyone who knows me , knows that I'm not a very serious person and that I hate deep conversations because I just cannot deal with it. I hate confrontations. I hate them. Because first , I suck at it. And second , well there is no second. I just wanted to seem interesting. Oops. So anyhoo , for me , life is nothing but taking everything that gets thrown at you and dealing with it and coming out of it. Smiling. Not come out as th...

Materialistic Amnesia.This is something I think we wish we all had. You may not agree with this but trust me deep down you know we all have something we subconsciously wish we could erase. They may be little, they may be huge but we still want to erase it. Some one told me just the other night to write something about forgetting people or something and I don't know who it was directed at or if it was supposed to be a joke. But me being me , did not take it as a joke or get why they were saying that to me. All I know is , it got me thinking. I am being completely real when I say I wish so many things that have happened had not and  that some of the people I have come across are perhaps the people I am  better without. But being positive helps sometimes so I just think of them as mistakes that became memories (Hence the Mistamories.Geddit ;] ). Why? Just because, imagine if those things , good or bad , had not happened , you would never have turned out to be the person you are ...

Hope is what screams maybe when the whole world seems to be screaming no! Hope is the only thing stronger than fear. Hope is the only thing that turns "what-if" into "why not?" Hope is our four letter word. So even though this is a short one, all in trying to say is that no matter what shit gets thrown at us or no matter what happens , it is never the end of the world , it can't be because when one door closes, two others open. Keep this in mind. Don't lose hope. Keep going. Life is a one time opportunity. Much love. Byee!

I would like to start by saying , Stop punishing yourself, You did not do anything wrong. This is a very touchy topic for me. It is difficult to talk about. You would probably have the same thoughts were you in my shoes. But, it's necessary. So  for everybody who do not know about this, this is for you and also for those beautiful yet broken people who do this to themselves. I hope with all my heart that this may influence you to stop thinking of yourself as worthless or ugly because you really are not. You are human like everyone else. And different and unique and amazing. Starting off, everybody , when they think self harm , they think cutting. But it is so much more than that. This act has become the meaning of self harm. It has also become a joke to people. A trend. An attention seeking method. Everybody does it. Not because they are actually going through something mentally , but maybe just because they are having a bad day. And that is pathetic because Cutting or self-harm i...

Always do what you are afraid to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it right. First of all, is it just me or does his middle name remind you of that finding game?? *awkward cough* Right! Back to the point.  We, and when I say we I am sure I speak for all us teenagers , have fears. Whether they are rational or irrational is secondary but the point is fear is a common emotion that is highlighted (in neon) and blown up. It's safe to say fear is almost non existent until it is fed to you by an external source. Am I right? Yes? No? Okay. Let me give you an example. We all have stupid friends right? You know, those idiots who love feeding off of you getting frightened outta your wits? Yes. Shivered a little at that thought didn't ya? Oh well, these are irrational fears like being scared of a butterfly. I had one of my friends tell me that. Word. These are fears that are easy to overcome. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate. But then comes these fears that change the way you look ...

“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.” ― Andre Marleux As much as I hate to admit ,the guy is right.  So after being anonymous and writing under some creative, not so creative name for so long ,I gathered some of my non existent galls (excuse my french) and created this. Every living person on this planet has a common fear, quoting not so subtly from The Fault In Our Stars because come on I am a teenage girl ,is oblivion. It is true, so don't lie to yourself about it. But, contradicting that and calling myself unique, not really,i feared being known. So this post is dedicated to everyone living with an alternate name. Sometimes it is better to come out, rather than weave a web so strong,you'll be stuck yourself. I came across a number of beautiful people with identities known to themselves and no one else because , like me were ashamed of their story,feared people knowing their names,frightened of being judged because in their countries it was ...