Worth It ;

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Hi. Today is just going to be personal. Lately life or social life in particular has become a little hard and a lot to handle. Too many hassles and situations are just putting me down and nothing seems to be helping. It feels like everything is coming down upon me hard and I'm beginning to pick up from the negative things a lot. I am starting to focus on what people are saying , thinking more than usual. And beginning to doubt myself as a person on the whole. I know how these things go down. Been there. And I'm determined not to go there again so I'm trying to bring back some balance again. 
So basically , almost everything I had until now believed to be real turned out to not be.. well ..that. Thinking back now it seems like a distant daydream. It was an unpleasant shock but a harsh welcome to reality.
These past days have tested my insecure personality in almost every way possible. And made me second guess myself. I am always thinking about relapse. Like it can make me better. When I know it can't. Negativity is something I almost always steer clear off. But it seems to have gotten to me at my weakest. Trying to stay positive and true to myself everyday.
I feel like the only reason everything is coming back or happening is because I allowed myself to trust and depend on the very people who don't think twice about hurting me.  Because I'm a person who if your friend is ride or die for you. No matter what. But I guess sometimes the good in you misses everything bad everywhere else. I'm no saint but I'm no two timer either. Just saying.
The only way I can overcome this is by learning from this and telling myself I'm worth it. That I'm not a waste of space. That some people actually do need me. And everything else I didn't tell myself the last time. Before I do something I regret. I need to realize it myself.
I just think the only way to get out of this is to surround yourself with people who really do love you and give a shit about you. That kind of positivity helps. A lot. So I'm just going to get going on that.
Again, this is not for pity. Its just me being me.
Much love.
Stay Strong lovelies.
You're worth everything :')
P.S - Heart emojis to everyone who knows what the ";" in the title is for. ❤

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